20100204

HOPE* to be older & wiser



Any fear about getting older?
Are we all not afraid of that??
... This coming weekend I'm going to see my parents. Confession: I am nervous as usual! I have an anxiety attack whenever I see them. ~You know...I do love them, but not necessarily like them. They have never been the best positive influence in my life(~~~violin background music pleassse...sob-sob*)
Lately, my mom has been complaining+grumbling so much about getting older. I've tried my very best to be a good listener, but must admit that I am simply not strong enough to handle the huge dosage/loads of her negativity(silent-SCREAM and pulling my own hair moment!). But you know what... something special has surfaced from this; I think I am closer to the 'self-acceptance' of my own mortality! I should forget the fear of getting old and focus more on the living...in a way, quality is always better than quantity no?!
I am reminded that "LIFE is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the special moments that take our breath away..." Yup, I shall spray some breath-freshener and start using this line! ~errr-errr???
~XOXO*
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-For more celebrity 'Then & Now' photo gallery click here

60 comments:

Homemaker Man said...

Parents are never easy. My mother is a hypochondriac. I've been aware of my mortality since I was 6

Melanie's Randomness said...

Well I'll admit that I'm a lil upset that I'm turning 25 cuz I feel like I haven't done enough. But those special moments come at any age, so I don't dwell on it much. But I think one thing I've learned from those pictures is, "Don't get plastic surgery because it'll make you look even older!" lol.

Michael Rivers said...

Good luck with your parents! I hope the weekend goes well!

Iva said...

Lenore you are beautiful!! Sometimes its hard not to worry about getting older. Some days I do, more then others. Some days it never crosses my mind and then other days I look at my face really closely and think ...HEY!! that line wasn't there before ;) Mostly, though it crosses my mind when I look at my babies, I want to watch them grow up, be there for them for everything and enjoy our journey in life together. That is a lovely quote. I'm sorry about some of the difficulty with your parents. Parents have an amazing way of loving their children, but at times don't think before they speak, and forget how deep their words can be. I am sorry, it doesn't make it easier, but you are a fabulous daughter to be there for your mama...everything is a learning experience ;) Have a great day Lenore!!

Dream Sequins said...

I must admit that I've started getting scared of getting older... and there's more anxiety around producing children in my family than growing older. My mom reminds me of my childlessness a LOT. If only she could put all the effort she puts into strongly hinting about grandchildren into a hobby for herself. Sigh.

Sal said...

Way to pull some positive from a difficult situation! Mortality can be terrifying to contemplate, but it also forces us to appreciate the present.

Bathwater said...

Quality is always better than quantity thus the saying "Live fast die young". It isn't our own mortality that we fear.

It is loosing our youth and freedom. Death is easy, aging is hard. Live fast, die happy little dove and don't listen to hard to those parents of yours they are often to harsh a critic!

Electro Geisha said...

yeah, I know the feeling... i do have such fears. am i vain? guess so, but, i do care how i will look. i don`t expect to look much younger, but i hope i will look nice for my age.. on the other hand, i just want to age gracefully...

Shaddy said...

My heart goes out to you. It can be extremely difficult to find yourself obligated to be in situations that more than likely will bring out upsetting emotions.

Be strong and follow your heart. Your heart realizes love isn't always easy. Your heart will guide you along the path that unfolds during your visit.

Dolly and Burt! Yikes!

AJ said...

I think A LOT about this issue, getting older, and I have to say, I did not appreciate what the phrase "getting older" meant until I turned 40 and the process actually started. I was lucky in the sense that I did not age very much in my 20s and 30s - everyone always said I looked younger than my age and then 40 hit - BANG!!!! As if overnight, my skin changed....my hair changed.. I do not recover from hangovers the same way I did....the process continues...I believe I was in no position to talk about aging until it started happening to me, I don't think anyone is until they start aging....I take great comfort, I must admit, in watching my contemporaries, actresses, models, age with me..it makes me feel a little less alone in this....it takes a bit more work now but wow, I still look fabulous!! (wink)...(ps: no botox yet!)

Laura Trevey said...

I like to think that "you are only as old as you feel"

... the poswer of positive thinking, right??

xoxo Laura

Sher said...

Yep, use that breath freshener...I have GOT to remember that line! :D Hang in there, deep breaths and hum a little tune in your head, while you try to tune out lol!

Pamela Terry and Edward said...

You know, I think you and I would have so much to talk about over a long lunch!

Saving Capulet said...

here i was whining on how i wanted to be a kid again and there you are being wonderful and accepting mortality. :( I sure have to figure myself out! lol. I wish you best of luck in visiting your parents.

TERI REES WANG said...

I have never recognized myself in photos or even in the mirror anyway, so I suppose it doesn't matter to me.

I was a sudo-adult when I was little, and such an immature brat now, so really, I may be growing in reverse. At best, I may not notice.

It's all good.

Couture Carrie said...

I am terrified about the physical effects of aging!
I think Botox might be my friend someday :)

xoxox,
CC

Sara Ballstaedt said...

oh wow, those pics make you think

Leah said...

Talk to me about aging... I'm not afraid to grow old. I am old and I've embraced getting old with open arms. You will laugh when I tell you how old I really am. Hahaha! It's just a matter of living life, enjoying it and old age will not be a concern anymore.

photojoy said...

When I turned to 40, I'm concerned about spots and lines but every one gets old. Now I'm concerned more about how to live my life. Aging doesn't necessarily mean negative things. I know many people aging nicely and they are so positive. Their faces shows their strong wills and convictions. That's why I believe Catherine Deneuve looks more beautiful in her second picture.
I'm hoping that aging is a step to grow into an attractive personality.
And aging parents is another problem. They are not EASYYYY!
Will I be "attractive" or "not EASY" in the near future?

emily said...

one of biggest fears is getting old. good luck with the 'rents--- i'm sure it will be fine!!

Sabine said...

Aging... isn't is frightening to all of us? I've decided to not make it an issue and find role models who don't stop because they get older, but on the other hand don't pretend to be younger than they are (that's rather pathetic anyway). I hope you can find me as a hot old granny enjoying life just (or even more) than I do now. Good luck with the parents!

Sabine said...

P.S. It's not the wrinkles that make you old, it's the mind...

Teresa @ good-grace said...

Aaawww... seriously. Parents can be downers. Hopefully the visit will be okay --- and at least you are aware of what you might be able to expect. And I agree with Sabine - it's not the wrinkles - it's the attitude.

I do obsess a bit over the age spots, but I'm beginning to just accept the aging process. What the hell? There are far more important things to obsess/worry about, no?

Tracie said...

Try to make the best of it. Go to your Happy Place in your mind. I do a lot of that when visiting family. Wine helps, too.

Sarah S. Dobbs said...

Thanks for stopping by and saying hello! I love your blog it's great! I don't have a fear of getting old maybe it's because I'm the youngest of my family and a few years younger than my husband. I am always feeling like I am young because of the people I am surrounded by. Maybe I say that now because I AM young and will have different thoughts once I reach those milestone birthdays like 30 :)

xx

S.S. Dobbs

North West London Girl said...

Oh sweetie, take a deep breath and all will be well, just remember it's there stuff, don't make it yours xxx

Debra said...

Oh darlin'- breath in and out-in and out...one baby step at a time.
Good luck and know that thoughts will be with you. When it's all behind you- have a sip of bubbly... or share it with a good friend.

pen.ny said...

Good luck this weekend. Stay strong!!

Erika said...

Oh, the mere thought of getting older scares the living daylights out of me! Honestly, I want to be forever twelve. I have no idea why that number is the age I want to be for all of eternity; but it is. :/

Kristen said...

I have about the same reaction to any amount of time spent within 100 miles of my parents, but i think having to deal with them has made me a stronger, and *maybe* even a bit wiser person. My biggest fear in getting older was that I would end up like them, but it's a choice, and I'm choosing to see the beauty in life. The silver lining rather than the impending doom of clouds. Clearly you see the beauty in life as is evidenced by your lovely blog posts. Glad to know others feel this way too :-)

~K

p.s. thanks for stopping by.

Helena - A Diary of Lovely said...

catherine deneuve is one of my absolute favorites. She is so graciously beautiful. Some women are lucky if you ask me!

drollgirl said...

oh girl. going to see the parents. i hope it goes well!!! i love my parents, but i have discovered that 2 days is about all i can take. tops. and that 2 days must involve a LOT of activities and diversions so that we don't have to TALK much. bleh.

i hope it goes well. hang in there!

p.s. the last pic of burt is freak-tastic!!!

Bunny, THE PARIS HOUSE said...

The only thing I fear about getting older is losing my parents..I'm so emotional I can't even handle my Doctor moving, so I know the loss of my parents one day will be unbearable for me..they really baby me. Of course it is so hard for women to age, I really try hard to take care of myself but mainly so I am healthy for my children. I don't know how old you are but I'm betting you are much younger than my 44 years, so please don't worry about it, you are still young and so far I love my 40's more than any other time , it is amazing!! If my Grandparents were still alive it would be perfect. The main reason is you really stop caring about what people think, you stop worrying about unimportant things and are more likely to only surround yourself with kind people AND it is easier to say NO..which I am very good at now!
Hang in there this weekend, maybe it will be a pleasant experience with your parents and if not thats what vodka is for :)

xoxo
PS, thanks for the link to the song, it was just what I needed and you know what? The sun did come out today and there were no more tears :) Oh and that Burt Reynolds picture makes me even more positive I will never get a facelift.

Micaela said...

AGREE MY DARLING!

oh i so hope your visit goes well. thinking of you xo

cindy said...

it's not easy when the roles reverse. hope your visit will be ok and you'll be home before your know it. just remember that you'll be going back to YOUR home!

Kristin said...

I've decided that I'm going to enjoy my 30s rather than worry about what I haven't done like I did in my 20s. I hope you're able to get through the visit ok!! Booze helps. ah ha ha

trishie said...

I feel the same about my parents, i love them but sometimes they drive me crazy and make me anxious.

Hope your weekend will be ok.

abigail said...

what a lovely quote.

I am lucky enough to really like my parents- even though it's not always easy. But my in laws are another story. Let's just say that there is a reason my husband decided to move 4500 miles, and an ocean away from his parents- and it's not because life in Italy is so unpleasant.

Good luck with your visit. I hope it goes better than expected.

Kay said...

i accept getting older by the minute, but pray that i do it gracefully...

bananas. said...

"focus more on living"...love that so much, you don't even know.

i mean, i'm young...i get that but i have a big fear of getting older and dying. reading that really puts things in perspective. why worry about dying when i'm living right now? i'll have eternity to think about that when i'm dead. haha!

WendyB said...

I say what AJ said above !!!

I do hate to see people stressing about turning 21 or 25. Youth is wasted on the young -- the cliche is true -- but I do remember feeling young then. Enjoy it! You have plenty of time to accomplish things, your skin is great. Wait till middle-age to have a crisis.

Carlene said...

"...the huge dosage/loads of her negativity..."

Oh, man, I hear that, loud and clear. I won't even visit my mom any more without having my sister there, so at the very least we can look at each other and roll our eyes in disbelief at the relentless negativity. So, if you don't have someone like that with you at your parents', please feel free to imagine me and Barb rolling our eyes right there with you.

p.s. Burt looks like a hideous wax Burt Reynolds figure.

Maggie May said...

god Burt looks freaky. really.

i'm glad to find your blog, and this post. my mom makes me a nervous wreck too. hang in there.

S. Bernstein said...

I aslo have this fear, I don't want to weaken and lose my mind, and have my skin sagging off my bones, but hopefully by the time I get old I will be more accepting of these things and have a different perspective.

Dustjacket Attic said...

Oh honey I cannot say it better than Shaddy. That first bit is what I'd say right now.

big virtual hug darling,
xoxo

Elizabeth Marie said...

I get scared too...but then I am not appreciating every day. Cheesy but true, I hope this weekend goes ok my love! Thinking of you! XO

Jan said...

Oh Drat - and you were just beginning to feel more positive.
Use the line on your mother - hope she listens.
There are some very insightful comments here today (especially from the over 40's)
Hope your weekend is not all bad.
Much love x

Sam said...

*shudder* if this were an incentive not to get plastic surgery done I don't know what is...I do worry about age - specifically, I worry about being old and alone - I don't have any family apart from my dear Dad and then there's my boy friend and that's it. So I worry about that. I also worry about bits dropping off and loosing my faculties...:( ...and all the best with your folks - it can be quite stressful - I wish you all the best with that dear Lenore - may it be a lot smoother than you think it will be and remember you are your own fabulous person!!! XOXOX's

Fenny said...

I'm so scared to being old :(
I wish i can be teenager forever, beacuse teen world quite fun!

Juanita said...

Indeed. Such is life.

Good luck with the visit!

Jill said...

One thing you should do...do NOT consult with Burt Reynolds surgeon!

I'm very close to my parents...and I was to my grandfather who passed away 2001. After he died, I decided that there was absolutely no reason why I should ever have to have contact with my grandmother again. She had always been horrible to me...now that I was an adult, I realized that not only do you Not have to love your relatives, you don't have to like them either.

VIOLHAINE LARSEN said...

Ha, those pics make me sad!
Especially the ones of Catherine Deneuve.
She used to be delightful!

Down and Out Chic said...

negativity can certainly be infectious can't it. i think you have a wonderful attitude though. just keep reminding yourself of this and you'll make it through, unscathed.

Melissa Blake said...

Umm, I'm trying very, very hard to enjoy getting wiser! Have a great weekend!

Ela said...

Oh honey...I hope it goes well. I'm sure it will :) Parents are notorious for springing surprises on their children, hoping they'll be in a surprisingly blissful mood this weekend :)
xox
Yikes...Burt is seriously freaking me out with that pulled face.

ilovecoolthings said...

interesting.... as i sit here in bed surfing, i'm waiting for my parents arrival as well... and it also gives me huge amounts of anxiety. you can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family...

x

sofiasophie said...

indeed... relation daughter-mother are very... how to describe it without too much negativity.... Delicate!
It is the same for me, I love her but not like her necessarily.
And it is hard to handle it because family relationship is supposed to be soooo nice, sooo good etc etc...
Courage!

Style Porn said...

Burt Reynold's facelift is the stuff of nightmares...here's to growing old gracefully!

Hanako66 said...

you are a smart cookie!

Teri said...

I just use the right moisturizer and hope for the best. Live every moment to the fullest, babeeee!

Love this post.